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Writer's pictureDr. Dimeji Afolabi

Are You Paying Attention To What Matters Most?

Updated: Nov 29, 2021











Are You Paying Attention To What Matters Most?


Are you?


If your answer is Yes.


How are you doing so?

This year has been one of the most challenging years in recent times in view of the pandemic.


It is thanksgiving time again and for those of us who have survived it all and are alive today, we should surely be grateful.


Stress is a fact of life.

There was certainly much of it around this year for obvious reasons.


However, it can equally be a killer.


It can affect your entire bodily systems (Physiological) functions adversely and mess up and limit your mental capacity to deal with the issues of life positively and productively.


Your ability to sustain a balanced and healthy life through a functional recovery may have been battered by these issues of life.


Your mental health matters.


It does as it is constantly at the receiving end.


Are you giving it the attention that it deserves?


We certainly need a measure (balanced) of stress to get us functional for maximum effectiveness and productivity.


I am referring here to when our daily stressors cause us to engage in what I call “toxic stress” that becomes pathological and harmful to our physical emotional and mental health, negatively affecting our wellness and wellbeing.


What do we do and what is our way out?


How do we cope and find our individual strategic coping plans and therapeutic pathways?


Stress and it’s stressors are part of what we face on a daily basis as humans navigating the pathway of our life’s journey.


We are challenged on every front and yet we are not consumed, we all have that which confronts us as we face our daily challenges.


So, how do we respond or cope appropriately as not to damage our wellness?


How do we ensure stress does not compromise our health status through it’s impact on our immunity or immune systems?


As a believer I will like to approach this from a Spiritual stand point- Spirituality In Mental Health.


Now let’s read what the Bible has to say about our stressors and the promise of victory promised us in overcoming and coping with such-


2nd Corinthians 4:7-17 (AMPC)


Now Read:

7, “However, we possess this precious treasure [the divine Light of the Gospel] in [frail, human] vessels of earth, that the grandeur and exceeding greatness of the power may be shown to be from God and not from ourselves.

8 We are hedged in (pressed) on every side [troubled and oppressed in every way], but not cramped or crushed; we suffer embarrassments and are perplexed and unable to find a way out, but not driven to despair; 9 We are pursued (persecuted and hard driven), but not deserted [to stand alone]; we are struck down to the ground, but never struck out and destroyed; 10 Always carrying about in the body the liability and exposure to the same putting to death that the Lord Jesus suffered, so that the [[a]resurrection] life of Jesus also may be shown forth by and in our bodies. 11 For we who live are constantly [experiencing] being handed over to death for Jesus’ sake, that the [[b]resurrection] life of Jesus also may be evidenced through our flesh which is liable to death. 12 Thus death is actively at work in us, but [it is in order that our life [may be actively at work] in you. 13 Yet we have the same spirit of faith as he had who wrote, I have believed, and therefore have I spoken. We too believe, and therefore we speak, 14 Assured that He Who raised up the Lord Jesus will raise us up also with Jesus and bring us [along] with you into His presence. 15 For all [these] things are [taking place] for your sake, so that the more grace (divine favor and spiritual blessing) extends to more and more people and multiplies through the many, the more thanksgiving may increase [and redound] to the glory of God. 16 Therefore we do not become discouraged (utterly spiritless, exhausted, and wearied out through fear). Though our outer man is [progressively] decaying and wasting away, yet our inner self is being [progressively] renewed day after day. 17 For our light, momentary affliction (this slight distress of the passing hour) is ever more and more abundantly preparing and producing and achieving for us an everlasting weight of glory [beyond all measure, excessively surpassing all comparisons and all calculations, a vast and transcendent glory and blessedness never to cease!],


It also says in this world (life) you will have troubles but calm down for I have overcome the world.


And more -


“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control”. 2Timothy 2:7 AMPC

In order to get through we must give attention to God’s promises to let it instruct us as we trust Him to do what only him can do and we do our part through our obedience to His Word.


For most of us, our place of refuge and respite in ensuring we reduce our stress experiences during the course of the day, week, month and year is our families, friends and our social networks, our church family and our home.


How we manage our stressful experiences and relationships depends to a large extent on our attitudes to life itself and whether we are reactive or responsive to those life’s negative prompts that off set our hormones and vital signs out of the physiological balance required for life that may be contradictory to our wellbeing and mindfulness.


How we manage our primary relationships especially family and most importantly our spousal relationships matters most significantly.


We have help around us through our community services eg

  • the church refuge through prayers sessions for believers ,

  • counselling,

  • mental health services-our multi-disciplinary teams,

  • psychotherapy & Talking Therapy,

  • Relaxation classes,

  • Prayer Therapy, Meditation and Yoga,

  • Mild Exercises, walking and dancing classes,

  • Social Intelligence, Mindfulness and Wellness classes etc, etc and etc

  • tailored towards individual needs.


Family is refuge and a location for our recovery and comfort especially if it is functional and conducive for peaceful emotional recovery and energising and empowering.


A place to be comforted, reassured, build and rebuild our self confidence, tenacity and a place to rebuild our hope and promises of a brighter future.


Why is this so important?


I am glad you ask,


This is so critical to our wellness and how we cope with stressors in our life by ensuring that our place of respite, refuge after a days battering is secure.


So it is vitally important to ensure you preserve, protect your most important place of refuge apart from God which is your home your place of rest with your family setting and in your relationships by which I mean the one you have with your significant other (your wife or husband).


This is what a good friend and a colleague of mine has to say about stressors and your primary relationships plus what your copping mechanism and strategy should be which I find very cogent and of value.


Listen to this

“If you aren’t happy at home, it doesn’t matter how successful you are at work. It doesn’t matter how much money you make. The size of your business doesn’t matter, nor does the kind of car you drive or how well you can hit a golf ball. Nothing in life has the potential to make you as happy or as miserable as your marriage. Because of this, it is worthy of the highest level of sacrifice and investment. Put your marriage first and make whatever sacrifices or changes necessary. Do whatever it takes to give your spouse the time and energy he or she deserves”. Dr Olusina Akinduro On this so valuable suggestion I close and encourage to you pay attention to what matters most. Remember, Relationships Matters and it as good as what you put into it. Give your relationships the pride of place for it your place of refuge and respite from the problems and stresses of our lives. #relationshipmatters #adime #nuggetsofencouragement #personaldevelopment


Finally

For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them]. Practice what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and model your way of living on it, and the God of peace (of [e]untroubled, undisturbed well-being) will be with you. Philippians 4:8-9


Don’t worry choose to be Happy.


You are blessed to be a blessing.


I am your friend and Encourager.




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